I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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