I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
