waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
