he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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