yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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