I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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