I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When are your genitals available?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
