I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up under a house in Key West
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