Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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