It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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