Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
