i think i have two assholes
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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