i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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