i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
