we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
