I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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