Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize