none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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