I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
