420 ftw
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
