Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
