yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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