is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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