omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
