I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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