i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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