I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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