is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
