Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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