i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
