I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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