My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she told me i tasted like america
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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