i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
