There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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