I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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