Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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