chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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