8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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