It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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