Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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