Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What a fucking waste of an outfit
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
