you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize