you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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