I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I currently don't understand fingers.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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