Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Randomize
