That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
