Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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