Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
