Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize