You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize