I love black thongs
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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