census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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