U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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