how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
