I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
