going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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