after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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