his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
