i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
