Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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