well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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