I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
